Lost for words...

this wont be the first time ive mentioned i certain some1 who i have strong feelings for and ive had them for awhile now i see it that ive had my "crush" on her for abit longer than a year now, her names sam, how did i meet this dark goddess at freelance the only good thing that i can say about that dive of a school, whats my story this time its simple two weekends ago i was spose to go into town and meet up with her it was a saturday night and for any1 who knows me knows im keen for town i always go in on fridays and i try to get my mates to go back for more punishment on saturday except the 1 who i use to call friend vanished into thin air dnt u love it when some1 says they'll b at ur place in 15 ends being unreachable for 2 weeks so yeah he punked out on me and i havnt seen him since and as i said b4 this is a story about sam so yeah i didnt get to meet up with her then tonight is the 1st time shes spoken to me since she told me that night she ended up meeting another guy meet up with him last weekend too and that she digs him, wants to start a relationship.... yeah from the way she worded it i had a chance with her my 1 chance destroyed by a no good for nothing punk who claimed to be my mate do u know what its like to cry but not cry at the same time i can refrence it to quite afew shows/movies ive seen like when something tragic happens u can see the tears falling out of there eyes sliding down there face and u can only imagine what they feel... ill tell u that feeling coz its what i feel now its a mixture of pain it just hurts so much to find out due to me not being there i missed my chance at being with her kinda a cross btween being electricuted and kickd n the ribs with steel caps, theres hate n there to but not towards her or the guy she meet but towards brad, and the last ill list is shock... im shocked to see that im crying or weeping no noise just silence and alot of blood on the floor due to the gapping hole n my chest to where my heart once resided, so here i am a bloody weeping mass which once took on the form of me.......... back into the darkness i drag my corpse into so ill never been seen again good bye for now